Hogwarts Parent Teacher Conferences
by xLove-Hate-Relationshipx
Summary: Find out what the teachers of your favorite Howarts students are really thinking.
1. Disclaimer

**Disclaimer: Sadly, I am not JK Rowling. Sorry to state the obvious, but if I were her, I'd be writing another dozen books right now, not fooling around on fan fiction. **


	2. Chapter 1: Nerves

Hogwarts Parent-Teacher Conferences

_Book plots don't really apply, I kind of just stole the characters. ;)_

"And before we feast, as I'm sure you're all starving, so I'll make this quick, Hogwarts will be hosting our first ever parent-teacher conference sessions this year, shortly after our Halloween ball. This is the perfect time to let your parents know how you're doing. Further information will be given closer to the event. So, now I say, tuck in."

As Dumbledore finished his start of term speech, students, especially Ronald Weasley, shoved huge servings of food down their throats.

"Ron? _Ron_? RON?" Hermione had to scream to get him to put down his barely-used fork and quit shoveling food into his mouth.

"WHAT? Can't you see I'm trying to eat here?"

"Yes, Ronald, we all can. I was just going to ask you what you think brought on all of this 'parent-teacher' stuff. That's a muggle school tradition for crying out loud!"

"I…dunno." And he continued his rampage down the table.

Weeks passed, and as all the girls blabbed about their hair, their dresses, and their dates, Hermione was stressing about the upcoming parent-teacher conferences. The only wizard her parents had ever met, apart from herself, was Professor Dumbledore. And while she loved all of her teachers, she knew them to be a little odd, and did not want her parents to take her out of Hogwarts and away from her friends for fear of her getting injured or because her teachers seemed just plain careless.

Ginny distracted her by helping her get ready for the ball, and she wore a beautiful emerald green gown that made even Malfoy do a double take when he saw her.

But soon enough, leaflets were posted on the bulletin board reminding everyone to owl their parents and save the date. Classes were to be cancelled for a week (a week!) so that everyone could have conferences for all of their classes.

Ron too was in distress. He was never the greatest of students, always just got by, and he was fretting about the trouble he'd be in when his parents found out that he was letting his grades slip.

Harry had contacted Sirius, Remus, Tonks, and Moody, and was having them stand in as his parents. He couldn't risk having the Dursley's at Hogwarts. Even though they weren't coming, weren't even aware that Hogwarts was inviting the parents and guardians of their students to conferences, Harry was still losing sleep about what his guardians (at least, _he_ considered them his guardians) would say about his performance in school.

Ginny herself was unconsciously bothered by the situation, always wanting to impress her parents.

Luna had no ounce of concern in her body; she knew her father loved her and she knew that she would get a good review from her teachers. She _was_ a Ravenclaw, after all.

Fred and George kicked into teacher's pet mode as soon as they knew that the conferences were approaching soon; they wanted to make sure that nothing about their pranking slipped to their parents.

Neville wanted to astound his grandmother, and took to following Hermione's study habits from the start.

Cho joined a few study groups in hope to keep her grades up; they were still not the same as before because of her grief for Cedric.

Crabbe and Goyle had no idea what everyone was panicking about, and therefore, did not panic themselves.

Draco wanted to reach the goals that his father sets for him, and was almost as stressed out as Hermione. He swore that if _anyone_ had Lucius as a father, they'd be this tense too.

The students' problems only escalated as schedules for conference week were handed out, and then, finally, the dreaded days arrived.


	3. Chapter 2: Pick Me!

Hogwarts Parent-Teacher Conferences

The time had come. Hermione gently tore open the envelope containing her parent-teacher conference time and scanned the page for the bolded print.

"_Dear Ms. Granger:_

_We are delighted to ask you to invite your parents to meet with us at __**11:30 a.m. **__on __**Tuesday **__in the __**Transfiguration Classroom**__. Please notify us immediately if this time is not convenient. Please know that you are also welcome to join us in discussing your progress here at Hogwarts._

_You can let your parents know that they will be meeting with the following professors at this time:_

Argus Filch- Caretaker

_**Professor Filius Flitwick- Charms**_

_**Professor Minerva McGonagall- Transfiguration**_

_**Professor Horace Slughorn- Potions**_

_**Professor Pomona Sprout- Herbology**_

_**Professor Cuthbert Binns- History of Magic**_

_**Professor Severus Snape- Defense Against The Dark Arts**_

_**Professor Rubeus Hagrid- Care of Magical Creatures**_

_**Professor Bathsheda Babbling- Ancient Runes**_

_**Professor Aurora Sinistra- Astronomy**_

_**Professor Septima Vector- Arithmancy**_

_**Professor Albus Dumbledore- Headmaster**_

Thank you, The Hogwarts Staff"

Hermione stared at her long list of teachers and began a letter to her parents, copying the note from the school word for word and adding her own messages at both the beginning and end.

A few hours later, Hermione received an owl back from her parents (they had purchased one when they found out that this was how they were to communicate with their daughter while she was at school) saying that they would be enchanted to come and that they would meet her in the Great Hall for 11:00, simply so that they could catch up and meet her friends before heading off to the conference.

When Tuesday morning arrived, Hermione woke up with a bundle of nerves in her stomach and a knot in her throat. She pulled on her best white button-down and an argyle sweater, paired it with khaki pants and chocolate brown ballet flats, and made her way to meet her parents in the Great Hall.

The moment she saw her mother she felt tears well up in her eyes. Had it really been that long? Her mother looked a good twenty pounds thinner, her signature blonde bob now grown out to its natural light brown. She let her curls fall, tamed and perfect, around her face and she even had on a little bit of makeup. She was wearing her best black pencil skirt and a lovely beige blouse with ruffles in place of buttons on the upper half. She had slid on the peep-toe sling backs that she saved for special occasions.

She turned to her down, and gave him a once over. He had on dress pants and a button down with his nicest dress shoes. He had brushed his hair instead of throwing it into a baseball cap and had put in his contacts instead of lazily throwing on his glasses.

She enveloped both of them in a hug and sighed. "It's been so long."

"Yes," said her mother, "but _we_ were late. So we'd better get going if you want to be on time."

Hermione led her parents to the Transfiguration classroom and opened the door slowly, not expecting anything for she had no clue what to expect.

She saw all of her teachers in chairs with clipboards, lined up in a semi-circle as they often did in muggle schools. Not knowing what else to do, she led her parents silently to the three chairs opposite the semi-circles, taking the one in the middle for herself and gesturing at her parents to take the ones aside of her.

Each professor introduced him or herself and went on to talk about how Hermione was doing. More and more relief washed over her with every positive remark.

"I'm Argus, Argus Filch. And I am the caretaker here at Hogwarts. I'm just here to let you know that your daughter, she's one of the better ones here at this school."

"I'm Professor Filius Flitwick, and I teach Charms. Hermione is a truly gifted student and I enjoy having her in class."

"Minerva McGonagall, Transfiguration professor. I have nothing negative to say to you about Hermione today." She gave a small smile.

"Horace Slughorn, Potions. Hermione's a star; she's part of my Slug Club, my group of highly gifted students here. Don't worry about her, she's great."

"Pomona Sprout, here. I teach Herbology, magical plants, that is. Hermione's one of my favorite, she's got real potential."

Professor Binns had fallen through his chair and had decided to float upwards towards the ceiling, startling Hermione's parents.

"I'm Cuthbert Binns, and I teach History of Magic. I've never once had a student so consistently great."

"Severus Snape, Defense Against the Dark Arts. Your daughter is a know-it-all, but she does do well."

"Rubeus Hagrid, Care of Magical Creatures. Hermione's great, she and her friends Harry 'n Ron help me out all the time."

"Bathsheda Babbling, Ancient Runes. Hermione is one of my best translators. I don't know how I'd stay sane without her to teach."

"Aurora Sinistra, Astronomy. Hermione really knows how to work a telescope, a wand, a cauldron…everything she touches turns to gold." Professor Sinistra gave a small smile.

"Septima Vector, Arithmancy- a very similar subject to muggle Mathematics. Hermione always turns in her assignments and aces every test."

"I'm Albus Dumbledore, the Headmaster here at Hogwarts. I'm sure we've met before," he shook their hands, "Hermione's a wonderful Head Girl and a great role model to the younger ones. I'm sure she'll do great things with her life."

"Now, Hermione," started Professor McGonagall, "We all think that you need to decide upon what you _really _want to do. You're spreading yourself so thin among all of this homework, and we all think you could perform even better if you decided upon one thing that you'd want to aim for, major in, and put your energy in the requirements for that. As long as you stay in Transfiguration."

"And Care of Magical Creatures."

"Don't forget about Arithmancy."

"Keep up the good work in Ancient Runes." 

"Stick with Charms."

"Keep Potions."

"Don't let go of Astronomy."

"She's keeping Herbology, right dear? Not stupid Astronomy."

"Astronomy is _not_ stupid!"

"Very well, she can drop both and take DADA."

"History of Magic will get you places."

"No it won't! She's going to stick with Potions, aren't you?"

"Drop Potions, take Transfiguration!"

"Charms is more important!"

"Ancient Runes is better!"

"Yeah, well Arithmancy is the _best_!"

"Care of Magical Creatures will help ya, 'Mione."

"How about we let her sleep on it…for a few weeks?" drawled Snape.

Hermione let out a breath. _Snape _saved her. Snape _saved her._ Wow. From her _teachers_. Who were _fighting _over her. This was an unusual parent teacher conference, she mused.

Snape continued, "Then she can pick Potions first."

As the yelling continued, Hermione's hysteria skyrocketed, and she knew for sure that her parents would _never_ let her stay.


	4. Chapter 3: Knock Out

Hogwarts Parent-Teacher Conferences

The moment Neville got his letter he quickly tore it open and hastily read it:

"_Dear Mr. Longbottom:_

_We are delighted to ask you to invite your grandmother to meet with us at __**2:15 p.m. **__on __**Tuesday **__in the __**Transfiguration Classroom**__. Please notify us immediately if this time is not convenient. Please know that you are also welcome to join us in discussing your progress here at Hogwarts._

_You can let your grandmother know that she will be meeting with the following professors at this time:_

Argus Filch- Caretaker

_**Professor Filius Flitwick- Charms**_

_**Professor Minerva McGonagall- Transfiguration**_

_**Professor Horace Slughorn- Potions**_

_**Professor Cuthbert Binns- History of Magic**_

_**Professor Severus Snape- Defense Against the Dark Arts**_

_**Professor Rubeus Hagrid- Care of Magical Creatures**_

_**Professor Pomona Sprout- Herbology**_

Professor Aurora Sinistra- Astronomy Professor Albus Dumbledore- Headmaster

_Thank you, The Hogwarts Staff"_

He then wrote a letter to his grandmother and asked her if she could meet him in the entrance hall at 2:00 on Tuesday afternoon.

Almost instantaneously after Neville's owl left his window, he heard tapping on glass and opened the window to see his owl return to him with a note tied onto its ankle. He hurriedly untied the note and gave the small owl a treat. Ushering it back out the window and shutting it softly, he unfolded the piece of parchment and nodded.

Just as he'd thought.

"I wouldn't miss it. –Granny"

Neville woke up late on Tuesday morning, missing breakfast. He quickly dressed in a polo shirt and cargo pants, hoping his grandmother would just be happy that he wasn't wearing jeans. He made his way down to the entrance hall and saw his grandmother walk cautiously through the doors as if not sure that she was in the right place.

"It's been so long since I've been here," she pondered aloud.

She looked up, and upon seeing her grandson picked up her pace to shroud him in a big bear hug.

Neville pulled away and looked at his grandmother. She was wearing a floor-length red dress with the sleeves that only elder women wear- the ones that stop right at the edge of your shoulder and don't expose any skin except for your arms. Over the dress she had on a brightly colored floral jacket with massive shoulder pads. Slung in the crook of her elbow was a large tote bag, in which she carried everything and the kitchen sink, in a signature wild print, this time matching her jacket.

"How've you been?" asked Neville as he led her up the staircase to the Transfiguration classroom.

"Fine, fine," she answered, "What about you, Neville?"

"Good."

"That's good."

"Yes."

"How's school?"

"You're about to find out."

By this time they had made it to the Transfiguration classroom and they found all of Neville's teachers sitting at a round table, with two seats on one side to spare, where Dumbledore gestured for them to sit. Neville took the seat next to Professor Sprout, and he left the one next to Professor Dumbledore for his grandmother.

A raspy voice from across the table started the meeting. "I'm Argus Filch, caretaker of Hogwarts. Neville, while a bit clumsy, is not a major rule-breaker or anything that would spark concern."

An old, wise voice next to him continued. "My name is Minerva McGonagall; I teach Transfiguration. While I do _not_ advise that Neville major in this subject, he does well enough to pass his exams and he puts forth at least an effort."

A small, squeaky voice carried on. "I'm Filius Flitwick, and I instruct students in Charms. Again, he puts forth a valued effort, but I'm not quite sure that this is what he should really do with his life."

Neville nodded and gave a small smile.

Startling everyone, a monotonous voice continued from above. "You can call me Cuthbert Binns, and I teach History of Magic. Neville…well…let's just say that this _isn't _his strongest subject."

A hearty, friendly man resumed the meeting at the table. "I'm Horace Slughorn. I took over Potions, and while I can't say that Neville is a master, I can congratulate him on doing his best in whatever situation I throw at my students."

The largest man in the room spoke next. "I'm Rubeus Hagrid, professor of Care of Magical Creatures. I think your boy here is a great kid."

An eerie voice addressed Neville and his grandmother next. "I'm Severus Snape. I am the Defense Against the Dark Arts instructor. Your boy is a clumsy, unimportant, inconsequential, trivial, inept-" With every word he had leaned closer to Neville.

"Severus," warned Dumbledore.

Snape just sat back in his seat.

"I'm Aurora Sinistra, and I educate young witches and wizards in Astronomy. Your grandson works very hard, but I'm not quite sure that he should pursue anything in my subject."

A short and stout woman went next. "I'm Pomona Sprout, and I teach Herbology. Neville has a gift in this class that I haven't seen in teaching for many, many years. I hope he decides to do something big with his life involving magical plants."

Dumbledore continued from Neville's grandmother's right. "Neville really is a good kid. He doesn't cause any more trouble than anyone else, and tries very hard to put forth his best effort. You should be proud."

Snape continued his rant. "As I was saying, a fool, a useless wizard who will never make anything of his life, ever, no matter how good he is at Herbology, or how-"

"Severus!" interrupted Pomona.

He just kept on going. "-or how much effort he puts forward. He's going to break everything he touches, kill everything he loves, and soon enough, he'll end up crazed and mad-"

"SEVERUS! What are you _doing_?"

"-just-"

"Don't pay him any mind, boy."

"-like-"

"I haven't seen talent like yours in years."

"-your-"

"You're going to be a big Herbology star."

"-p-"

"Severus! Stop!"

"-Potions professor."

"HEY!" yelled Professor Slughorn, and he put all of his might into punching Snape square in the gut. Snape, being skinny having almost no muscle, fell to the floor, moaning and clutching his abdomen. A few moments later, he was unconscious.

Neville gave Horace a high-five and he and his grandmother left the room. She, oblivious to almost the entire thing, just smiled and said, "Looks like you're doing just fine, dear."


	5. Chapter 4: Surprises

Hogwarts Parent- Teacher Conferences

Harry awoke to the sound of an owl at his window and literally rolled out of his four-poster, landing nimbly on his feet. He stumbled over to the window, narrowly missing the wobbly stack of books on his desk when he stretched his arms up over his head. Letting them fall to his sides, he lifted the screen on his window to let the owl, which was growing rather impatient, into the boy's dormitory. He lazily untied the letter from its ankle, fed it a handful of treats for its trouble, and started to read as it flew away.

"_Dear Mr. Potter:_

_We are delighted to ask you to invite your guardians to meet with us at __**10:00 a.m. **__on __**Wednesday**__. Please notify us immediately if this time is not convenient. Please also know that you are more than welcome to join us in discussing your progress here at Hogwarts._

_You can let your guardians know that they will be meeting with the following professors at this time:_

Argus Filch- Caretaker

_**Professor Filius Flitwick- Charms**_

_**Professor Minerva McGonagall- Transfiguration**_

_**Professor Horace Slughorn- Potions**_

_**Professor Cuthbert Binns- History of Magic**_

_**Professor Severus Snape- Defense Against the Dark Arts**_

_**Professor Rubeus Hagrid- Care of Magical Creatures**_

_**Professor Pomona Sprout- Herbology**_

Professor Aurora Sinistra- Astronomy Professor Sybill Trelawney- Divination

_**Madam Rolanda Hooch- Flying Instructor/ Quidditch Referee**_

Professor Albus Dumbledore- HeadmasterThank you, The Hogwarts Staff"

Harry sent individual letters to Tonks, Remus, Sirius, and Moody, asking them if they could attend.

Sirius was the first to reply.

"Why can't you just invite the Dursley's?

_Just kidding, kiddo- I wouldn't miss it. _

_-Sirius"_

Tonks sent her response soon after.

"I'll be there. Just a quick question though- what color should I make my hair? Red or pink? Or keep it brown? You know what, you're right. I'll just ask Ginny.

_Tonks"_

They must have all been at 12 Grimmauld place, because an hour later, Remus and Moody tied their notes to one owl, and it flew in lop-sided, one leg weighed down much more than the other.

"_Harry,_

_Of course, I'll make sure I'm there. Looking forward to seeing all of my old teachers again._

_~Remus"_

"Aw, thanks. I'm flattered you've invited me, Potter. I'll tag along.

_A. Moody"_

"Wonderful," he sighed to himself sarcastically.

"What's wonderful?" asked Ron as he walked into the room.

"Everyone can make it: Moody, Remus, Sirius _and_ Tonks."

"Well, yes then, I assume that is wonderful. But _where _exactly can they make it to?"

"Conferences, Ron. Conferences. Get with the program."

"When's yours? I didn't get my paper yet."

"Wednesday at ten."

"In the morning?"

"No Ron, at night."

"Oh."

"Of course in the morning you dimwit!"

"Ah. Are you nervous then?"

"Well, yeah, kind of, I guess. I mean, Remus and Sirius knew my father. If I don't live up to him, well, what are they going to think about me?"

"They won't love you anymore, Harry."

"You really think so?"

"Of course not! Now who's the dimwit?"

"You?"

"You!"

"Oh."

"They love you more than they should, Harry. They'd love you if you were mental. They'd love you if you were as mad as Moody's fake eye. I don't think anything can change that."

"That's the most sensitive thing you have ever said to me."

Ron snorted.

When Wednesday morning arrived, Harry's emotions were torn. One part of him wanted to stay safely in bed, hiding under his covers, away from the possible disappointment that may await him. The other part of his thoughts jumped excitedly and urged the afraid half out of the four-poster, eager to see his makeshift family again.

He pulled on his best jeans and a sweater, attempted to flatten his unruly black hair, and straightened his glasses before walking out of the common room and pulling the portrait hole closed behind him.

The moment he turned the corner into the entrance hall from the stairway leading up to Gryffindor tower, he spotted Tonks, with her newly changed red hair, and made his way over to her.

She gave him a warm smile and a loving hug, asking him how they went this long without seeing each other.

"Blimey, I've got no idea," he replied upon hearing that he'd been separated from them for nearly six months.

"Harry, my boy!" exclaimed Sirius when he laid eyes on his godson. He gave him a big hug and a pat on the head.

"Remus!" yelled Harry as he stepped into sight, and gave him a hug also.

Moody walked through the door, the newly fallen snow covering him up to his knees and laying in his long, somewhat scraggly hair.

"Potter," he addressed Harry.

Harry took a few steps over to Moody. Moody held his hand out to him.

Harry took it, wondering how they never seemed to be as close as he and Tonks, Sirius, or Remus were, yet he knew that Moody would give his life to protect him, as Harry would most certainly do for him.

Harry took Moody's moment of vulnerability and gave him a hug also, laughing as he staggered back in shock. It took him a moment before he returned the hug, and when he did it was quick and friendly.

They made their way up into the Transfiguration classroom. Harry opened the door and gasped, quickly closing it.

Sirius, concerned opened the door himself, laughed and entered.

"Hello, Albus, Minerva, _Severus_," he greeted, "_Vernon_."

By this point Tonks, Remus, and Moody had entered the room, dragging Harry, who was literally kicking and screaming, in behind them.

Remus addressed Dumbledore first, "Did _you _invite them?"

"Yes."

"Don't you think that it would've been wise to check with Harry and see if it was okay with him?"

Upon hearing his name, the Dursley's all turned and sneered at him.

"He wouldn't have been okay with it."

"_Exactly!_"

"So I took it upon myself to get his _legal_ guardians here."

"Are you un-inviting us?"

"No, no, Remus. You and the Order are always welcome at Hogwarts. However, manifest yourself a chair so that you don't have to stand."

With a flick of a few wands, five more chairs lined up next to the other three, ranging from wooden bar stools to overstuffed recliners. Harry's legal guardians and Harry's chosen guardians engaged themselves in a stare off, none of them blinking or shifting their line of vision until Dumbledore interrupted.

"Very well, Argus, why don't you begin?"

"I'm Argus Filch and I take pride in being the caretaker here at Hogwarts. I'm basically here to tell you that for all the sneaking around I suspect Potter of," at this Petunia and Vernon smirked, "he never gets caught." Their smiles faded.

"I'm Albus Dumbledore, Harry's Headmaster. I assure you that Mr. Potter is a fine student and will become a great young wizard." Their faces contorted into ugly frowns, while proud smiles formed on the faces of

"Are you sure we have met the same Harry Potter?" asked Petunia Dursley.

"I assure you that you have misjudged Mr. Potter," replied Dumbledore matter-of-factly.

"I'm Minerva McGonagall, Transfiguration professor, Deputy Headmistress and Harry's head of house. I-"

"What's transformatification?" asked Dudley stupidly.

"_Trans-fig-ur-ation_," enunciated Moody, "is this." And he whipped out his wand to change the fat young boy into a fish in a bowl, then to an orangutan eating bugs, and bag into his original pig-like form. Dudley spit out bug legs and antennae on the carpet, and neither of his parents reprimanded him.

McGonagall continued, "Anyway," she shook her head, "Harry is not as gifted in this class as some of his others, however I believe him to be a fine young wizard with a loving heart."

"I'm Filius Flitwick," Dudley interrupted him by laughing loudly at his short form and squeaky voice, and Flitwick returned him by marching over and _thump_ing him on the head with a rather heavy book, "and I teach Charms. Harry does fairly well, and I believe him to be one of the best wizards in his year."

"I'm Horace Slughorn, I am Harry's Potions professor this year, and I invited him into my Slug Club early because I noticed how gifted he was in the beginning of the course."

Vernon rolled his eyed and coughed in a way that sounded a lot like, "kiss up."

Harry coughed back, only his sounded a lot more like a command. "Blow up."

"I'm Cuthbert Binns," droned Harry's History Of Magic professor, "Harry does as well as the next kid in my class." And he floated through the wall and into his office.

"I'm Rubeus Hagrid, the Care of Magical Creatures professor. Harry really does have a way with Buckbeak." Hagrid winked at his favorite student.

"I teach Herbology. I'm Pomona Sprout. Let's just say that I don't necessarily advise your boy to pursue a career in my subject." She smiled, and Harry blushed.

"I'm Sybill Trelawney. I instruct Divination. Your boy is not a Seer." She nodded sympathetically.

"I'm Aurora Sinistra, Astronomy professor. He puts forth…a good effort."

"Madam Rolanda Hooch, here. The moment I saw Harry on a broom, I knew that he'd make something of himself in flying. He's now Gryffindor's most prized Seeker on the Quidditch team." She smiled at him admirably, and Sirius patted Harry on the back.

"Severus Snape," muttered Snape, "Defense Against the Dark Arts. Harry has-"

He stopped, seeing Remus and Sirius smirking. He stood, wand drawn.

Sirius and Remus also stood, their wands at the ready.

Sensing a battle, Tonks, Moody, and Harry raised their wands and formed a semi-circle around Remus and Sirius.

"Ooh," said Dudley, "Mommy, are we going to get to see the magic people _fight_?"

At hearing the word "fight" come out of the their son's lips, Petunia and Vernon stood and led him out of the castle and back home.

"It's been a long time, _Snivellus_," said Sirius.

"Indeed it has."

Remus sat back in his chair, urging the rest of the group to do the same. "It's not worth it, Padfoot, it's not worth it. Be mature. You're acting like a _child_."

"Hey, Moony. In case you weren't watching, _he_ pulled his wand on _us_."

The moment Snape opened his mouth to cast a spell, Dumbledore stepped in, silently disarming them both.

"Now, please, you're acting like children."

"_See_," whispered Remus.

"Severus, would you like to finish?"

"Ah, right, yes. Harry, despite killing the Dark Lord, has absolutely _no_ talent in the Dark Arts, and should consider pursuing something else. He'll _never_ be an Auror at this rate."

"Are you crushing his dreams, Snape?" asked Tonks in a not-so-friendly tone.

"Yes, I believe I am."

"_Avis!_"

Her wand spewed birds at Severus, and, just having recovered from Horace's knockout punch yesterday, he collapsed on the ground and cried.

"All right, Tonks!" exclaimed Harry, enveloping her in yet another hug.

"I do what I need to do to keep you safe, free of harm, away from danger, and secure from peril."

"Aren't those all the same things?"

"I…I guess so."

"Oh."

Harry walked his four improvised (and hopefully, one day, permanent) guardians to the entrance hall, laughing about the parent-teacher conference the whole way down the many staircases.

He gave them all hugs good-bye. Sirius pulled a small cupcake out of his pocket and said, "Oh, right, before I go, Harry, this is for you."

He tapped the cupcake with his wand and said, "_Engorgio!_"

The already-large cupcake nearly doubled in size, and now it was so big that it barely fit in Sirius's palm.

"Thanks," replied Harry, not knowing what to say. Never in his life had he received something so…so _ordinary_ from his godfather. He was starting to like it; it was starting to grow on him.

He had to use two hands to carry the massive dessert treat all the way up to Gryffindor tower, and once he got there he had to split it among Ron, Ginny, Fred, George, Hermione and himself to even _think_ of finishing it in this one night.


	6. Chapter 5: Dystopia

Hogwarts Parent-Teacher Conferences

Draco Malfoy read slowly, taking in each word.

"_Dear Mr. Malfoy,_

_We are delighted to ask you to invite your parents to meet with us at __**3:45**__ p.m. on __**Wednesday**__ in the __**Potions**_ _**Classroom**__. Please notify us immediately if this time is not convenient. Please also know that you are more than welcome to join us in discussing your progress here at Hogwarts._

_You can let your parents know that they will be meeting with the following professors at this time:_

Argus Filch- Caretaker

_**Professor Filius Flitwick- Charms**_

_**Professor Minerva McGonagall- Transfiguration**_

_**Professor Horace Slughorn- Potions**_

_**Professor Cuthbert Binns- History of Magic**_

_**Professor Severus Snape- Defense Against the Dark Arts**_

_**Professor Rubeus Hagrid- Care of Magical Creatures**_

_**Professor Pomona Sprout- Herbology**_

Professor Aurora Sinistra- Astronomy

_**Madam Rolanda Hooch- Flying Instructor/ Quidditch Referee**_

_**Professor Bathsheda Babbling- Ancient Runes**_

_**Professor Septima Vector- Arithmancy**_

Professor Albus Dumbledore- HeadmasterThank you, The Hogwarts Staff"

Draco mumbled something incoherent under his breath and started a letter to his mother.

"_Mum,_

_Hogwarts is having parent-teacher conferences this year. It's a muggle school tradition, and apparently we have to take part now too. I've been asked to invite you to meet with my professors to "talk about my progress." The meeting is at 3:45 p.m. on Wednesday if you're interested in coming. You can meet me in the entrance hall._

_On another note, I hope you're feeling better. Don't worry about Father; he'll tough it out. He's always been the strong one. If he sends you any more letters let me know about it. I know that you'd take his place in Azkaban any day, but he has now made his bed and he has to lay in it, unfortunately, for a very long time. Just be glad that you or I did not get captured along with him._

_Sincerely yours, Draco"_

A half hour later he got his reply:

"_Dear Draco,_

_I'm so very sorry, dear, but I don't think I can pull myself together enough to come to your meeting. I'm in a state of serious distress- your father has just sent me a letter, and he told me that all he can think of is his sad childhood. The Dementors have given him their kiss, and he now has no recollection of you or of his relationship with me. He only remembers my name and that he knows me somehow._

_I am going to ask you to come home for the holidays, and I am going to take you to visit your father to see if that sparks his memory somehow. If it doesn't, then you'll have your only wish- that your father has nothing to do with you and that he doesn't even know you exist._

_I'm glad to hear that you're concerned about me, but I am now damaged possibly beyond full repair. I have decided to move out of the Manor into a smaller, two bedroom house. Once I get settled I will renovate to my liking as I had always talked of doing and then I will send you the address so you know where to go when you come home._

_No, I am not selling the Manor; I know that you have always wanted to move in their with your future wife and children, and then that your children will also eventually inherit the Manor, and it would be cruel to rid you of that dream._

_Don't worry about your father or me; we'll both be fine eventually._

_Love, Mum"_

Draco reread the letter, taking in the words. His father had forgotten him; his mother was moving out of the Manor; his mother wasn't selling the Manor, but keeping it for him; he was to come home for the holiday and then they would see if his father remembered him.

Draco set his issues aside and handled the first one, writing a letter to Dumbledore and saying that this is probably not the best time.

"_Professor Dumbledore,_

_My mother is unable to attend the conference on Wednesday. I'm afraid that this is not a good time._

_Draco Malfoy"_

Ten minutes later, he got a reply.

"_Mr. Malfoy,_

_Would __**Saturday**__ at __**10:30 a.m.**__ be more fitting?_

_-Professor A. Dumbledore"_

Draco scribbled a response.

"_Sir,_

_I'm sorry but my mother is unable to attend at all on the offered dates._

_-Draco Malfoy"_

Almost immediately, another note came through the window.

"_Mr. Malfoy,_

_I'm sorry to hear that. Here's a list of other possible times. Pick on that would be best._

_Professor A. Dumbledore"_

Attached was a list of days and times.

Draco, now angered, wrote a reply.

"_Professor A. Dumbledore,_

_Due to my father's situation and my mother's anguish, she is moving out of the Manor. My father does not remember that I am his son. I'm afraid that no one will be able to be in any condition to attend a conference at all, no matter how many dates or times you throw at us or offer. Please do not ask for any more details on my situation; I am just under a bit of stress at this time because of family issues._

_Draco Malfoy"_

Again, his owl left and returned in a matter of minutes.

"_Mr. Malfoy,_

_I am sorry to hear that. This letter will turn in to a portkey to the guidance office in 3…2…1…_

_Sincerely, Professor A. Dumbledore."_

Without enough time to drop the letter, Draco felt the familiar sensation of a pull at his navel and landed firmly in an overstuffed chair.

"Hello, dear," said a young witch whose name Draco was not familiar with.

"Hi. If you don't mind, I'll just be leaving now." Draco made to get up, but it seemed that his rear end was stuck to the chair.

"These chairs will not release you until my job is done. Now, Draco, is it?"

He nodded. 

"I have received special instructions from Professor Dumbledore that I'm not to let you go until all of your problems are addressed."

"Well, Ms. Uh…" Draco paused, forgetting momentarily that he did not know her name.

"Madam Jessica Greene."

Draco pondered her unusual name. "Are you muggle-born?" he asked.

"Yes."

"That explains it," he murmured.

"What explains what?"

He blushed, thinking that she wasn't supposed to hear that. "You're muggle-born heritage explains your name."

"It's the most common muggle name. There were four Jessica Smith's in my grade alone."

Draco ogled at how confusing that would be.

"Anyway, Madam Smith, I'll just be going now…"

"No. Sit."

It wasn't like he had much of choice because the chairs were charmed, but he did as he was told.

"Listen, lady-"

"You'll feel so much better if you-"

"I don't know if you've caught on, but I don't _care_ if-"

"Just tell me what-"

"I don't like telling strangers about-"

"You-"

"I-"

"Listen, Mr.-"

"NO, _YOU_ LISTEN! MY FATHER IS IN AZKABAN. HE DOESN'T REMEMBER THAT HE'S MARRIED TO MY MOTHER OR THAT HE HAS A SON. MY MOTHER IS SO DEPRESSED THAT SHE'S _MOVING_ OUT OF THE MANOR. BUT SHE'S NOT SELLING IT SO THAT WHEN I 'GROW UP AND GET MARRIED AND HAVE KIDS' I CAN HAVE IT. AND I'M ASHAMED TO TELL HER, TO TELL ANYONE, THAT _NOTHING_ IN MY LIFE HAS BEEN GOING RIGHT, AND THIS IS JUST THE ICING ON THE _FREAKING_ CAKE. SO DON'T YOU TELL ME TO SHARE MY FEELINGS, MADAM_ SMITH_," he sneered, "BECAUSE I HAVE ENOUGH TO HANDLE WITHOUT HAVING TO WORRY ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE THINK OF ME."

And when he got up out of the chair that was charmed not to let him go until he had a good deal less stress and anger than when he sat down, he was able to storm out her office, slam the door, and head back to his dorm where he sat and sulked.

"Looks like my work here is done," she said and smiled.


	7. Chapter 6: Time

Hogwarts Parent-Teacher Conferences

Cho Chang meandered over to her window in the Ravenclaw girl's dormitory and let the small, fragile owl in. The owl reminded her of herself, of her heart especially- full of hope and love and then _crushed_, until deep down, there was nothing more than what was seen on the surface- a lonely, heartbroken, mourning teenager.

She read, her mind wandering back to the owl that was not unlike herself, and her teardrops dotted the letter.

"_Dear Ms. Chang:_

_We are delighted to ask you to invite your parents to meet with us at __**11:00 a.m.**__ on __**Thursday**__ in the __**Charms Classroom**__. Please notify us immediately if this time is not convenient. Please also know that you are more than welcome to join us in discussing your progress here at Hogwarts._

_You can let your parents know that they will be meeting with the following professors at this time:_

Argus Filch- Caretaker

_**Professor Filius Flitwick- Charms**_

_**Professor Minerva McGonagall- Transfiguration**_

_**Professor Horace Slughorn- Potions**_

_**Professor Cuthbert Binns- History of Magic**_

_**Professor Severus Snape- Defense Against the Dark Arts**_

_**Professor Rubeus Hagrid- Care of Magical Creatures**_

_**Professor Pomona Sprout- Herbology**_

Professor Aurora Sinistra- Astronomy

_**Madam Rolanda Hooch- Flying Instructor/ Quidditch Referee**_

_**Professor Albus Dumbledore- Headmaster**_

_Thank you, The Hogwarts Staff."_

Cho notified her parents in the fewest words possible (she was speaking to them in short, snipped messages as to not let them in on her grief), and finally wept herself to sleep.

She awoke late the next morning, and then rushed to get dressed. She hurriedly combed through her stick-straight, sleek black hair, pulled on a pair of black pants and a silky red blouse, mentally preparing herself to meet her parents.

She checked the mirror, put her carefree façade in place, and walked down the stairs with a forged spring in her step.

The moment she saw her parents, she put her phony smile on her face, and led them up to the Charms classroom so that they wouldn't be late.

Dumbledore introduced himself, addressing Filch to begin.

"Filch? Argus?"

"Huh?"

"What do you have to say about Ms. Chang?"

"Who?"

"Cho Chang."

"Who's that?"

"Well there you have it," said Dumbledore, "And that's a good thing."

Mr. Chang chuckled.

At Dumbledore's signal, Filius Flitwick began, "I am Professor Filius Flitwick, the Charms professor and Ravenclaw head-of-house. Cho is a very wise young girl, and I believe that she will go far in her life, whatever she chooses to do."

"I'm Horace Slughorn, and I instruct Potions here at Hogwarts," said a hearty voice from across the circle of teachers, "Cho, well, she always does her best work, and while I am not sure that Potions is her _best_ subject, she puts forth effort, and that's all that's needed for success."

Minerva started a few moments after Horace finished. "I'm Professor Minerva McGonagall, deputy headmistress and Transfiguration professor. Ms. Chang is a good students and a fine girl. You should be…proud."

"Cho…Cho Chang. Tries her. Hardest. To succeed," said Binns in chopped up sentence fragments, "I am…Professor Binns. I teach. History. Of Magic."

Cho's parents nodded, trying their hardest not to express their disbelief.

Pomona Sprout spoke next, "I'm Professor Sprout, Herbology instructor at Hogwarts. I give your daughter…credit for her hard work and effort."

"Ms. Chang," said Snape, "is a decent student in Defense Against Dark Arts. I'm her DADA teacher, Severus Snape."

Cho swore she saw her mother shudder at his tone.

"I'm Professor Aurora Sinistra, Astronomy professor. Cho has quite a talent."

"Rubeus Hagrid 'ere. I teach Care of Magical Creatures. Cho's nothin' to be ashamed of."

"I'm Rolanda Hooch, and I am the Quidditch referee and flying instructor here. You can tell your daughter has a passion for the sport." A small smile finished her opinion.

"Cho is a great student," said Dumbledore with a comforting smile, "however I am concerned about her."

Cho couldn't hold up her façade anymore, and her calm, confident expression slipped away to a grimace.

Dumbledore resumed speaking, "Ever since Mr. Diggory's passing, she hasn't been the same."

A wail escaped her lips at the sound of his name.

"Her grades have been slipping, she is distancing herself from her friends, she refuses to visit the counselor, Madam Jessica, and nothing seems to calm her grief."

By this point, Cho was weeping and her parents had gotten out of their seats to comfort her. The moment her mother started rubbing her back and her father began peeling her tear-soaked hair away from her face, though, she wept louder and wrangled herself away from them.

"Cho," started her mother, but she was interrupted.

"NO!"

All of the professors and her parents stared in shock.

"I'M TIRED OF IT ALL!"

"Cho, darling, calm your tone and we can talk this out. Remember, every problem has-"

"No, Dad."

He stopped talking, pleased that she had stopped attempting to shatter all of their eardrums.

"I'm tired of _everyone, everything, everyday, every _minute_, every _second_, every _whisper, _every_ tear," her sobs came louder now, "I-I can't d-do this! This grief, this _life_, it's too much to bear.

"Every time I break down, every time my mask slips away, I have everyone trying to comfort me, everyone trying to tell me that everything will be okay. And I want nothing more to be able to believe them.

"But the _truth_ is, that _nothing_ will ever be okay, nothing will ever be the same. He will _never_ come back, never hold me or talk to me ever again. And I _can't _stop this grief, because while everyone else forgets about him, _I _can't. He would have wanted someone to remember him forever, and my tears are a constant reminder."

She caught her breath, trying to stop the tears from falling but failing miserably.

None other than Severus Snape spoke up.

"Cho," he said softly, then got up and took the empty chair aside of her, resting his hand on her shoulder and not minding when she flinched at his touch, "I understand."

"No! No one understands; no one has been through this."

"Yes, but this is where you're wrong. Almost everyone in this room has lost someone they loved."

No comment.

"And we all have accepted that the ones we loved, they're still with us- spiritually, mentally, deep in our hearts. And, let's face it, dear, that boy would have never wanted you to grieve over him and never continue your ambitions in life." His hand slid off of her shoulder and he wrung it in his lap, searching for the right words to say next, "I lost someone when I was younger, and she was young too, and I have only a few things left to remember her by, but I hold those dear to my heart. I made the mistake of spending plenty of time wallowing in my own sorrow after her death, and now I know that when someone loses someone they love, that there is never anything you can do to get them back or to make them feel better except share what you know and hope for the best. So, Ms. Chang, what do you say? Can you try to move on?"

"I…I…I don't know." But her color was back, her tears had dried, her voice wasn't shaky anymore…and they all knew that she was trying, and that she would gradually recover, return to her life, she just needed the support of everyone who loved her, and the gift of time.


	8. Chapter 7: Imagination

Hogwarts Parent-Teacher Conferences

Luna Lovegood set down her complementary issue of _The Quibbler_ to open the window for the owl. _Maybe it's a crumple-horned snorkack in disguise_, she mused.

After petting the owl for a good amount of time she fed it a treat and untied the scroll from its ankle. She read slowly:

"_Dear Ms. Lovegood,_

_We are delighted to ask you to invite your father to meet with us at __**2:30 p.m.**__ on __**Thursday **__in the __**Charms Classroom**__. Please notify us immediately if this time is not convenient. Please also know that you are more than welcome to join us in discussing your progress here at Hogwarts._

_You can let your father know that they will be meeting with the following professors at this time:_

Argus Filch- Caretaker

_**Professor Filius Flitwick- Charms**_

_**Professor Minerva McGonagall- Transfiguration**_

_**Professor Horace Slughorn- Potions**_

_**Professor Cuthbert Binns- History of Magic**_

_**Professor Severus Snape- Defense Against the Dark Arts**_

_**Professor Rubeus Hagrid- Care of Magical Creatures**_

_**Professor Pomona Sprout- Herbology**_

Professor Aurora Sinistra- Astronomy Professor Albus Dumbledore- Headmaster

_Thank you, The Hogwarts Staff"_

Luna started her letter to her father at once.

"_Dad,_

_I've been asked to invite you to Hogwarts for a parent-teacher conference on Thursday at 2:30 p.m. If you meet me in the Great Hall, I'll escort you up to the Charms room, where my conference will be held. _

_The owl that delivered the letter this morning reminded me of a crumple-horned snorkack. Is it possible that the owl was just a snorkack in disguise?_

_Love, Luna"_

She attached the letter to the leg of her owl and shushed it out the window. About an hour later, she received a reply.

"_Dear Luna,_

_I would be honored to come to your conference. Thank you for letting me know about it._

_As to answer your question, yes, I believe that the owl could have been a crumple-horned snorkack in disguise. If you see it again, please take a picture and send it with your next letter so that I can tell you for sure._

_I also have a quick question for you, dear. What kind of an occasion is this conference? Black robes? Dress robes? Simply clothing without robes? Please let me know as soon as you get a chance. Your mother always attended theses types of things while I was hard at work getting _The Quibbler_ underway, and I am pretty clueless now._

_Love, Dad"_

Luna wrote her reply immediately.

"_Dear Dad,_

_Thank you for coming. I'm excited to see you again and curious about what my professors have to say._

_Thanks for answering my question. I'm sure I knew that answer, but I probably just had Wrackspurts in my head at the time and couldn't think of it._

_As to answer _your_ question now, I believe that simple robes or clothing that you may wear to an event, like the Quidditch World Cup, would do just fine. _

_If you're too busy and don't reply to this message, it's okay by me. If you have any more questions though, don't hesitate to ask me. _

_Love, Luna"_

Luna never received any more messages after that, and so she assumed that her father was working hard editing _The Quibbler_ and drifted off to sleep.

When Thursday afternoon finally arrived, Luna headed up to Ravenclaw tower to change out of her tracksuit and put something nicer on.

She dug through her trunk, searching for her dirigible plum earrings and her butterbeer cork necklace. This _was_, after all, a very special occasion.

She slipped on a pair of jeans and a black long-sleeved button-down shirt with her unusual jewelry choices and hunted down her shoes- finding them slung over the statue of Rowena Ravenclaw in the common room. She slipped those on over her black-and-yellow plaid lucky socks and headed down to meet her father.

Upon seeing him, she ran to give him a hug. "Dad!" she yelled.

Xenophilius returned the hug willingly and allowed his daughter to grab his hand and lead him to the Charms room, where a semi-circle of professors awaited them. Two chairs sat in the center, reserved just for them.

"Hello, Xeno," said Dumbledore fondly.

Xenophilius waved his hand and nodded happily in response.

"We ought to get started, then," said Dumbledore, and he gestured toward Filch, "Argus here has a detention to take care of in a few minutes."

Filch spoke up from a seat on the far left of the semi-circle and said, "I have no idea who we're talking about."

"Luna, of course," said Dumbledore.

"Maybe we should give him a clipboard next time," advise McGonagall.

"Good idea," muttered Dumbledore. Louder, he said, "Luna Lovegood, Argus. We're talking about Luna Lovegood."

"I still don't know who we're talking about."

"Alright. Well, off you go to your detention."

Once he was gone, Dumbledore turned to Xenophilius. "That's a good thing. Argus is our caretaker, and a very strict one. If he doesn't know Luna, that's an accomplishment."

Filius Flitwick continued from next to the spot where Filch had been sitting, "I'm Filius Flitwick. I teach Charms, and I am head of Luna's house, Ravenclaw," he paused to shake Xeno's hand, "Luna is quite a persistent student. I believe that she will go far if she uses her smarts."

Xeno smiled down at his daughter.

"I'm Horace Slughorn, Potions professor," said Slughorn from the middle of the circle, "and I like Luna. I think her creativity and imagination is her best quality."

Xeno took his daughter's hand in his lap.

McGonagall continued from next to Filius. "I'm Minerva McGonagall, Transfiguration professor. Ms. Lovegood is a talented witch. Sometimes her mind wanders, but when she's focused she does well."

Xeno squeezed Luna's hand, but then let it go.

Binns spoke from his position- hovering next to McGonagall. "I'm Professor Binns, teacher of History of Magic. Luna Lovegood…she…is…a fine…student." And he floated through the wall.

Xeno shot Luna a questioning look; she just shrugged in response.

Rubeus Hagrid went after Binns. "Rubeus Hagrid, Professor of Care of Magical Creatures. Luna is one o' my favorite students 'ere at Hogwarts. She's gotta gift- she can see Thestrals and has quite a way with 'em."

Xeno winked at his daughter.

Pomona Sprout began next. "Herbology professor, Pomona Sprout. Luna is quite a relentlessly talented witch."

"Aurora Sinistra, Professor of Astronomy," said Sinistra, "I think Luna does quite well."

"Severus Snape," said the DADA professor, "I teach Defense Against the Dark Arts. If it weren't for Potter's tutoring, the girl would've never passed my class. And her imaginary creatures are _pathetic_," he spat.

"Well, Mr. _Severus Snape_," Xeno spat right back, "Maybe _your_ imaginary creatures are _pathetic_. And I will have you know, _none_ of these creatures are imaginary.

"Oh, yeah, I'm sure," Snape said sarcastically.

"You wanna bet? Maybe you just need an _imagination._"

"Oh, I'll give you _imagination_, you-"

"Enough!" commanded Dumbledore, "Luna is a fine, brave, creative witch. She will become a great, inspirational witch when she is older, and Xeno, you should be proud."

Luna smiled up at her father; she had been right- he'd love her no matter what.


	9. Chapter 8: Distractions

Hogwarts Parent-Teacher Conferences

Ronald Weasley sighed and untied a letter from the large white owl's long leg. After shushing it out the window, he unfolded and read the words that were written in an unmistakable script.

"_Dear Mr. R. Weasley,_

_We are delighted to ask you to invite your parents to meet with us at __**11:30 a.m.**__ on __**Friday **__in the __**Transfiguration Classroom**__. Please notify us immediately if this time is not convenient. Please also know that you are more than welcome to join us in discussing your progress here at Hogwarts._

_You can let your parents know that they will be meeting with the following professors at this time:_

Argus Filch- Caretaker

_**Professor Filius Flitwick- Charms**_

_**Professor Minerva McGonagall- Transfiguration**_

_**Professor Horace Slughorn- Potions**_

_**Professor Cuthbert Binns- History of Magic**_

_**Professor Severus Snape- Defense Against the Dark Arts**_

_**Professor Rubeus Hagrid- Care of Magical Creatures**_

_**Professor Pomona Sprout- Herbology**_

Professor Aurora Sinistra- Astronomy

_**Professor Sybill Trelawny- Divination**_

_**Madam Rolanda Hooch- Flying Instructor/ Quidditch Referee**_

Professor Albus Dumbledore- Headmaster

_Thank you, The Hogwarts Staff"_

Ron felt a ping of nervousness wash over him. First things first, though- he had to at least let his parents know about the conference. Maybe, just maybe, they would already have plans, and then Ron would be able to do some extra credit before conference time ended on Tuesday. He started writing.

"_Mom & Dad,_

_Hogwarts is doing a parent-teacher conference week. I've been assigned to the time 11:30 a.m. on Friday. You'll probably be getting letters from Fred, George, and Ginny soon enough._

_Ron."_

It was a good two hours before any response was given.

"_Ron,_

_Your father and I would be honored to come to your conference. We'll meet you in the entrance hall of the school around 11:15._

_Mum."_

_Well, isn't this just _wonderful_, _thought Ron miserably. His parents would see the worst of his grades at the worst of times.

He walked out of the boy's dormitories and entered the common room, only to see Hermione curled up on the sofa with a book. _Surprise, surprise,_ he thought.

He plopped down beside her with such force that she bounced in the air before resettling back in her comfortable position.

Without looking away from the page, she sighed. "_What_, Ron?"

"Did you get your conference letter yet?"

"I had my conference on Tuesday, why?"

"I'm…I'm having mine Friday, and my grades are _horrendous_."

"Nice of you to take notice, Ronald," she replied sarcastically.

"What do I do, 'Mione?"

"Well, if you haven't noticed, Friday is _tomorrow_. So the only thing you have left to do is beg and plead with the professors to give you an extra credit assignment, or just let it go and suffer the consequences of late assignments and minimal effort."

"O-kay," he drew out the word.

"Right, so either get on it, or leave me to my book."

Ron, not liking her choices, took the latter option, and went on to solve his problem his own way.

He made his way back to his four-poster and slid onto his mattress, digging through his school bag for his textbooks. He pulled out the two textbooks relating to his worst subjects- Potions and Herbology.

All night he stayed up, committing chapters at a time to memory before taking a short catnap. By the end of the night, he had completed all of his textbooks and had learned advanced chapters in each by heart.

The next morning, dressed to impress, Ron made his way down to the entrance hall to greet his parents.

When they laid eyes on him, their eyes bugged out of their heads. He contained a smirk.

"Mum, Dad," he greeted them.

"Oh, Ron!" exclaimed his mother, "You've grown up so fast!"

Without a response, Ron led both of his parents up to the Transfiguration Classroom as instructed by his conference letter.

All of Ron's professors stared wide-eyed and open-mouthed at the sudden transformation of one of their least favorite students.

"Mister and Missus Weasley- pleased to see you again," said Dumbledore.

"It's great to see you too, Albus," replied Arthur.

Molly just nodded, still in too much shock to speak.

"Argus was not able to make it today," said Dumbledore, "He is busy preparing a new list of unacceptable behaviors and is altering curfews according to year."

Ron restrained an enthusiastic exclamation and instead smiled.

"Minerva, will you begin?"

"My name is Minerva McGonagall, and I am head of Gryffindor House and the Transfiguration teacher. Ronald, he puts for little effort in his work and often turns in assignments late. If for some odd reason they are _not_ late, they are either entirely incorrect, correct but in handwriting that does not in _any_ way resemble his, or not turned in at all. He is often tardy for class and I catch him cheating on tests regularly."

Molly's proud smile faded, and she turned to her son with an angry expression. Her face was rapidly turning to a color that was almost redder than her trademark hair.

"G-Gamp's Law of Elemental Transfiguration states that love cannot be created, only imitated, and that it is impossible to bring the dead back to life, and that gold cannot be created, and that food cannot be conjured, and that-" Ron's rambling excuses were interrupted.

"I am Filius Flitwick, and I teach Charms. Ronald had consistently turned in poor work to me for major grades, and his carelessness is enough to drive anyone bonkers. He cheats on my exams time and time again, has others do his homework, and recurrently goofs off during lessons."

Molly's calm expression once again vanished.

Ron hurriedly scanned his mind for an impressive fact about charms that would get him out of this sticky situation again, and said, "Charms can be extremely powerful- for example, the Fidelius Charm can completely hide a person or place so that no one can find them unless the Secret Keeper gives them the location."

Ron's parents nodded, obviously impressed but suspicious too.

"I'm Horace Slughorn, and I am the Potions professor here at Hogwarts. Your son is not the best student ever to grace these halls, and I will just leave it at that."

Already ahead of the game, Ron blurted, "A tincture is a gentle medicine preserved in alcohol."

This time Arthur nodded while Molly tried to figure out what exactly was going on; you could see the gears turning in her head, and Ron was determined to make sure that she got no more leads than she already had on his odd behavior.

Another voice droned from his position in the circle. "My name is Cuthbert Binns, and I teach History of Magic. Ronald frequently arrives late to my class, falls asleep in lessons habitually, and seldom turns in an assignment that is worthy of grading."

Once more Ron searched his head for the right tidbit of information, and exclaimed, "Wendelin the Weird enjoyed the sensation of being burned so much that she allowed herself to be caught in different disguises somewhere around forty-seven times."

Now both Arthur and Molly were working on the reason behind the weird actions their son was giving off, and Ron became a little more nervous.

"I'm Rubeus Hagrid. Ron 'ere is actually quite good at Care o' Magical Creatures, my class. He turns in the homework I give 'em and is rarely late."

Ron silently thanked Hagrid and made a mental note to thank him later, once his parents had left.

"My name is Pomona Sprout, and I'm the Herbology professor of Hogwarts. I'm sorry to let you know that Ronald is a pitiable student, in my class and in many others, and that could use improvement in all areas of his educational career."

"Bubotuber pus is a treatment for severe acne."

Molly and Arthur were both very apprehensive about why their son was spurting out random facts.

"I am Professor Aurora Sinistra, and I teach Astronomy. Ronald is a pitiful student; he turns in incomplete or incorrect work, and refuses to study or pay attention in my class."

"Europa is icy and Io has volcanoes."

"I'm Sybill Trelawny, the Divination professor. Although Ronald lacks the Sight, he also lacks effort."

"In tessomancy, the Grim means death."

"My name is Severus Snape, and I teach Defense Against the Dark Arts. _Mis_ter Weasley is an amazingly _atrocious _potioneer. His effort ranges from minimal to none, his assignments are repeatedly pathetic, his exam grades are just sorry, and if he has Ms. Granger do _one more essay_ for him, I will _personally_ jinx him into the next millennium."

"T-the," Ron stuttered.

"Oh, and _Mis_ter Weasley?" asked Snape.

"_Stop_ it with all of those _pathetic_ facts. You're just using them to distract your parents from your _dreadfully _awful grades."

This time, Molly _and_ Arthur's faces turned red.


End file.
